by Roman Watts

Recently revealed (or wildly speculated) was that Jason Statham, best known for his uncredited roll of Yves Gluant in 2006’s undisputed box office juggernaut The Pink Panther, and as the voice of Shrike in Red Faction II, will be stepping into the role of the only villain badass enough to walk around with an actual goddamn target on his head: COLIN FARREL!

"WTF!? I thought I was supposed to be Tom Hank's horse!"

“WTF!? I thought I was supposed to be Tom Hanks’s horse!”

I, for one, hope this is more than just your run-of-the-mill game of internet Telephone (it was a party game from back when people still wantonly misunderstood each other face-to-face), because if he brings even half of the energy and excitement he injected into Gnomeo & Juliet, then season 2 of Daredevil will be a. . . hm. . . Oh, hell with it. I’m gonna say it!

"Don't say it!!!!"

“Don’t say it!!!!”

I’m gonna SAY IT, Jason Statham!!!

"Oh God...Here it comes!"

“Oh God…Here it comes!”

It’ll be a muthah$#@%in’ BULLSEYE, muthah$#@%ahs!!!

Ha! There, I said it!! What are you gonna do about it, Mr. Statham? Huh!? Whaddaya gonna do? 

 jason-statham-crank (1)
, Mr. Statham. Well played.

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Roman Watts lives in the heart of The Danger Zone and firmly believes that Goose knew what he was getting himself into. Follow more of Mr. Watts general bite-sized smart-assery on Twitter (@roman_watts). Roman Watts don’t Facebook.