STK691234-1Fastballs. Curveballs. Knuckleballs. Every major league pitcher has their favorite go-to in their toolbox. The tried and true techniques that they’ve been able to hone through countless hours to obtain the desired results. If only it were that easy for writers.

Pitching for many writers is often a frustrating exercise. You spend countless hours crafting and refining your words, hammering out and perfecting your plot and pickling and spotting your liver. Then, you have to take your baby, your award-winning story, and turn it into something that could be relayed to another human being on an elevator. Hell…these days in 140 characters!

That is why, despite the brilliance of many writers, we oftentimes long to get out of the bullpen, but dread being on the mound. Being able to translate your extremely complex ideas and boiling them down into a simple one is nothing short of alchemy. It’s both science and art in that there are certain tried and true elements, but it takes constant reinvention for success — especially in the majors (i.e. Hollywood).

Why do the extra work to get butts in theatres? Why cook a gourmet meal, when people love microwave dinners? Well, because there are an infinite number of stories of how x sold a movie idea to y for z, and there will continue to be so. One recent case is that of a pitch for a sequel for the evergreen Die Hard franchise:12239598_648394398636706_765842887424250397_n

Indie filmmaker and superfan, Eric Wilkinsonwrote an open letter in the Hollywood Reporter to the Die Hard producers (above) and threw out perhaps the greatest curveball in recent memory; telling them he had the Magnum Opus for John McClane in his back pocket, and that their reboot should use his story.STK688572-4The temerity of this man makes me believe if he knew where they held meetings, he would have re-enacted the movie’s famous scene and broke through their windows armed with a script and the movie’s classic one-liner. And if you read this, Eric…you have my support.

Break the internet.

Break in.

And I hope you they give you the call to toss your best stuff. Afterall, breaking in is what anyone who has ever tried to make it wants to do. Right?

Yippee Ki-yay!!!

Jon on Twitter 

Nicholas Allen BKA Jon Jebus is a writer hailing from the Westside of Baltimore trying to keep his sanity in between being a patriarch and hitting deadlines.  You can find his ramblings on Twitter @JonJebus and read his comic The C-Listers here.